The Emmaus Retreat week – Canada’s Catholic Gap Year
Our lives are saturated by constant noise and distraction, from the “ba-ding” of cell phones to the chaotic clamor of the modern lifestyle. We all know the difficulty of tuning our ears to God’s quiet voice in the midst of this modern cacophony. Even when things are quieter, our internal noise keeps us distracted. Thoughts wander while we walk, drive, pray the rosary, try to be attentive in Mass, or even try to stay engaged in conversation with others.
A couple weeks ago, the St. Therese Institute Catholic Gap Year residents were able to turn away from all the noise for their first silent retreat of the year. It’s called the Emmaus Retreat, and as you might guess, the retreat’s theme is that story of the disciples’ encounter with the resurrected Christ on their way to Emmaus, in the 24th chapter of Luke’s gospel.
Discovering New Narratives
Phylicia Aalbers, our Female Director of Formation (and a STIFM alumna), led the retreat. “Emmaus is designed to provide the participants with skills in emotional intelligence for living in community,” she said.
The retreat invites participants to look first at themselves, identifying personal tendencies and internal narratives that may or may not lead them closer to Christ. The whole process is based on the example of the two disciples on the road, who were stuck in grief and confusion about the crucifixion, and who had not yet realized the truth of the resurrection. There is a lesson here about the power of narratives, and of the gap that can exist between our narratives and the actual facts of what God is doing in our lives.
“Looking at the stories we tell ourselves, we start to see how those stories impact our ability to relate to the world.” Once we realize not all of our narratives are true, there is a real opportunity. “As you discover who you are and step out of old narratives and into life-giving narratives, it frees you up to love more fully, deeply, and freely.”
The retreat weaves its way between facilitated sessions, times of prayer – including daily Mass, rosary, and adoration – personal journaling, confession, small group discussions, and “integration activities” designed to help participants put things together meaningfully for themselves.
“It’s a time to grow in both faith and personal insight,” Phylicia says. “It’s a time of finding answers to questions like, ‘Why do I react this way when blank happens? What is it that compels this reaction? How can I implement what I learned this week to propel myself forward rather than getting stuck or falling back?'”
Over the years she has facilitated the retreat, Phylicia has seen truth strike people as dramatic insights become suddenly obvious. In other cases, she sees a process that starts with a deep sense and unfolds into clarity – akin to the disciples realizing that they have been walking with Jesus all along, so that they exclaim “were not our hearts burning within us” (Luke 24:32).
An Excellent Retreat Team
We had two STIFM alumni join the retreat team this year: Naazim Kodita (Class of 2014) came to co-lead the retreat, with Phylicia. Naazim is a certified counsellor who runs his own practice out of Calgary, AB. Fr. Michael Horianopoulos, CC (Class of 2017) was here as the retreat chaplain. Fr. Michael is the newly ordained Associate Pastor of Holy Trinity Parish in Lower Sackville, NS. St. Therese Institute interns, Miranda Willenborg and Joseph Côté, rounded out the team.
The Fruit of Silence – Testimonials
Noah Huber (pictured left) is at St. Therese for a Gap Year and had a breakthrough in his faith during the retreat:
“Our Lord was working on my heart and my faith. Even though I struggle with doubts, our Lord was reassuring me of faith being a choice. Even if I don’t feel it, I can still choose. Renewing that choice to believe, to trust, and to love, is so important. Where usually I base my encounters with him on feelings, this was more an encounter of conviction: Yes, I choose to believe. Yes, I choose to trust in you Lord and to be yours.”
Though silence was hard at first, Noah came to appreciate the opportunity, saying that the silence “really gave an opportunity for things to come up, like memories from the past and lies that I believed. He brings things up so that he can work on them. Tearing those apart revealed the Lord’s constant presence with me through my life, never leaving, never wavering, never abandoning. He’s always there. Coming out of the silence I realized the beauty of the silence. How you can encounter our Lord so much deeper…because there’s no distractions.”
Kintsukuroi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold. Instead of hiding the cracks, this process highlights them as part of the object’s history, creating a unique and more beautiful piece. We can also embrace our wounds and negative experiences, transforming them into strength and resiliency. There is a Kintsukuroi integration activity in the Emmaus Retreat.
Sara Hansen (pictured right) appreciated the impact of the Kintsukuroi experience on her retreat. “We received clay pots. We decorated them, then were told to break them (which was actually kinda fun), and then were instructed on how to mend them. I found the mending part to be frustrating as the pot kept falling apart on me. I took the still-broken pot with me to share group, and finally managed to get it put back together there. It really struck me that it was in the context of community that this ‘healing’ occurred.
The whole process helped me to realize that my imperfections and struggles are actually a unique and beautiful part of who I am.”
The Sacraments and Community
“All of this [happens] in the context of the sacraments,” adds Phylicia. For the disciples in Emmaus, it was through the sacrament of the Eucharist when Jesus “took bread, said the blessing, broke the bread and gave it to them” (Luke 34:31) that they recognized him.
“The sacraments are these pivotal moments of grace, and help us to become saints. So, as we are becoming more aware of our stories and narratives, we are working on changing our stories with the Lord, much like what happens in the Gospel story on the Road to Emmaus. How do we become more alive, and how are the sacraments giving us the grace to do so?”
Reflecting back on the week, co-leader Naazim Kodita shared, “I was struck mainly by the community. Even though we were in silence, the heart of St. Therese was very much present in the love, service, and intentionality of each person. My favourite moment was near the end of the retreat: [after] the silence was lifted, each [participant] shared their own experience with God working in them that week. Love was abundant, hope was revitalizing, and their commitment to a life in Christ was inspiring.”
St. Therese Institute May Offer an Emmaus Retreat for the Public
Emmaus is a pivotal moment in our Catholic Gap Year programming. Now, the STIFM team is considering offering this retreat to the public, during the months of June or July.
“It would be to bring these tools and skills into the lives of others,” Phylicia explains. “Learning these skills helps participants become better spouses, parents, and co-workers. They are operating in freedom, not brokenness, and so can love more deeply.”
If the witness of these Gap Year participants draws you to the idea of a summer Emmaus Retreat, let us know. Sharing your interest with us will encourage our team to make the commitment.
Stay tuned for updates in this newsletter, on our website, and on our social media.
James Riley has been on the St.Therese Institute mission staff since our first program year in AD2007. He currently serves as STIFM Deputy of Operations.